Over the last few years, I’ve seen an increasing number of clients coming to me to explore their life, post retirement. Maybe it’s because I’m well into my own ‘middle age’ and people think I’ll be able to relate, or maybe there is a shift in what some people really want from their retirement?

If we have been fortunate enough to have worked in a position that has been fulfilling, the losses that retirement brings can outweigh the benefits. When overworked, many of us dream of the life that retirement will bring: leisurely mornings, lunch with friends, evenings spent cosy at home, trips to the theatre, long holidays in the sun… We often overlook how it might feel to not have a daily purpose, a role that defines us and sometimes gives us status.

If work has provided us with a structure, a framework around which we shape the rest of our lives, what happens when that structure is removed? As we age, often there are the extra challenges of health problems or simply not having the energy we relied on when we were younger. In addition to this, often we find ourselves without the financial resources to pay for the life we had looked forward to for so many years.

So, how do people find that counselling helps?

Counselling provides an opportunity like no other, the time and space to explore who we are without fear of hurting others or needing to live up to other people’s expectations. Because of the basic boundaries that counselling holds (one being confidentiality), clients can experience the freedom of exploring the core of who they are or want to be. Sometimes, people surprise themselves! Retirement can, over time, be rewritten into a time of growth, new opportunities and hopefully some fun. Maybe time to let go of some of our earlier life-patterns that no longer serve us well?

Counselling, in some ways a simple activity, can reach every area of our lives, help us to re-shape and reform our lives. When there are areas of our lives that we can’t change (ill health or limited resources), learning to accept those limits and give our lives purpose and meaning can be a real and sustainable transformation. Even in advanced old age or ill health, and facing the end that comes to us all, there can still be room to find meaning and purpose in our lives and the time we have left.

That old saying, ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’, is one I’ve found to be completely untrue. Whilst teaching is rarely a part of counselling, I’ve found that people with the experience and maturity that only age can bring are often the most willing to recognise, embrace and implement change and growth.